The Aspiring Trophy Wife
Original Post Date: Apr 1, 2024
A few years ago, while I was using dating apps, I met this girl on Tinder. Her name was Nicole, or Nikki, if I remember correctly, and it was.. honestly, it was about the same as any other interaction goes on there. We talked for a little bit, introduced ourselves, and then after a day or two of us talking, we just never said anything to each other again, but we kept one another as matches – the ‘perfect’ dating system working as intended. 
I don’t remember how, or why, but I imagine I probably drank too much, got an extra bit of confidence, and decided to message Nikki out of the blue to see if she’d like to go on a date with me. Much to my surprise, she said yes.. and, I don’t know about you, but sometimes, especially with dating- I never really expect to get as far as I do.. so, I only made about half the plans, like picking the day and time that we’d go out, but I had no idea where to go. Fortunately, she made life easy on me in that way, and she already had a place in mind for dinner.
Before we get to the actual date though, let me fill in the backstory of this day. Earlier in the day, I can’t remember why exactly, but I had gone to visit my mom. It might’ve just been for a visit, but the reason this was important was because of what happened when I was on my way back home from my mom’s. I was driving my truck through a place I had easily driven over a hundred times, I know those roads, and they’re littered with potholes, but I think those were just the straw that broke the camel’s back in this situation.. as I turned a corner, I felt my passenger-side front tire drop into a pothole, I tried to straighten out the wheel.. and something like, shifts, and then pops.
It wasn’t a great sound.. so, I pull over, and go take a look to see what’s going on. As I turn my steering wheel, only the driver-side tire turns, the passenger side doesn’t react. We can skip over the mechanical issues here, because it wasn’t something I could fix then and there. It was a bearing that got sheared off somehow, and needed an actual mechanic or a shop to work on it.. definitely not something I was going to be able to do then and there.
Panic started to set in because not only was I concerned about my truck.. but I also had a date that night, and the plan was to definitely drive my truck to it, but.. now we’ve got some challenges to work around. Fortunately, my roommate and friend from school wasn’t too far away. I gave him a call and he came to pick me up, which solved one of the problems, but I wasn’t going to have him drop me off for a date.. that would feel kind of silly. Instead, I locked up my truck, left it in place, and then tried to figure out what to do for my date that evening.
I don’t think I’ve hardly mentioned this, maybe in an old writing or two, but I have a motorcycle.. it was one I bought while I was deployed on my first deployment, and even though I didn’t ride it a whole lot anymore, it was still a vehicle. And I’d rather take my own vehicle than borrow one from someone, even if they’re my friend..
As luck would have it.. about 30 minutes before I leave for this date, it starts raining. Not like a downpour or anything, but if you’ve ever been on a bike in the rain.. it might as well be. You’re driving into the rain, and however wet I thought I’d get.. I’d most likely be drenched by the time I got there. Oh well, I was dedicated to make it to this date, and if the bike was what I had to do.. then fuck it, I’m a little crazy, I’ll do it.
The ride there was.. scary. I’m a pretty safe rider on my bike, but in the rain and traffic, and people driving like assholes.. yeah, I was fucking terrified at times. I wasn’t watching my speed on part of it, just kind of flowing with traffic and trying to be safe, but damn.. when you hit stop-and-go traffic, that shit is scary. It’s pretty much just praying that the person behind you is paying attention, and you’re not about to get sent through their windshield.. But I made it to the restaurant safely.. and absolutely soaked.
I texted Nikki to let her know I made it, and we met inside.
Now.. there’s a lot of ways I could tell this part, but let me just hit the highlights because I feel like the whole date was quite.. shit. From the moment I got there, we couldn’t keep a conversation going. I’d ask her questions, she wouldn’t ask any back. I had no problem sitting in silence, but she did.. so, instead, I kept asking her questions about herself, and the more I learned about her.. the more I wish I wouldn’t have gone on this date. Everyone is allowed to have their own goals and aspirations, I’m not going to shit on anyone for them.. but what she wanted, and what I was looking for- were two VERY different things.
Nikki’s life aspiration, in her words, was to be a stay-at-home-wife and mother. In my words, it was to be a trophy wife that never has to work a day in her life, and wants to be a wall-flower to someone that will enjoy her beauty until it fades. Again, that’s fine. But since we’re on a date, looking to see if the other person is compatible, I immediately knew that this was going nowhere for me.. did it sting? I mean, yeah. It was another waste of time, plus, I risked my dumb ass by riding my motorcycle out here in the rain.. oh well, at least now that I know I’m not interested in her, the pressure is off, and I can just enjoy the social aspect of it.
I think she felt my mood change a little bit, I tried to keep things light, but you can only have so much fun talking about her desire to become a trophy wife. And.. as luck should have it.. I was telling her about something when I noticed her eyes dodge past me, and she starts reacting in.. almost awe towards something behind me. First awestruck, then an effort to hide her disappointment, and then lastly, revenge. I sat there silently, watching her reactions as her eyes followed someone behind me.
Nikki smiles and waves at someone behind me, I turned to see who it was and it was another dude just walking by in the restaurant.. I thought, ‘eh, maybe a friend, an ex, whatever.. it probably isn’t important.’ But yeah.. I was pretty wrong about that, because the look on her face when she explained who he was was definitely shame.. and then, the revenge I was talking about, or maybe just an effort to ‘even the playing field.’ She stopped the guy behind me and talked over my head to him for a minute, asking him is he was here with anyone, saying they hadn’t talked in a while, so on and so forth. I waited until they were finished, and then I just sat there quietly. I wasn’t going to ask, but I was kind of hoping she’d explain because she interrupted our date for it.. and interrupted the one time I was getting to tell her anything about me, which further just made me feel like she didn’t give a shit about being there.
After their awkward exchange over my head, I told her I can grab the check if she was finished, and she kind of jumped on the defensive.. she explained who the guy was- basically it would’ve been me if we made it past this date. He was the guy that took her on a couple of dates and then they stopped talking for a week or two, met me, and now I was on a date with her while they were in this like.. dramatic situationship. I was the middle-man. To him, it looked like I was taking her on a date.. to her, she was more curious to know who he was there with. She stood up at least 3 times after this in our booth so she could turn around and look to see if he was there with another girl.
Now, I don’t know about you.. but generally people (unhealthy people) with a guilty conscience tend to find a way to make things “equal” with the person they feel guilty towards. So, because she was there on a date with me, she needed to make sure he was on a date there with someone else too, so it would relieve her of feeling guilty. Therefore bringing them both down to the same shitty level that I wanted nothing to do with.
So.. yeah, after looking around the restaurant multiple times to find his date, she did finally find what she was looking for, and she settled back into our date. Haha, I mean, it was too late at this point, I was pretty fed up from having things be interrupted, running onto her ex/current boyfriend, and then of course, listening to her tell me about how she wanted to look good and never have to do anything other than that in a relationship. The thing is, she could probably find some guy that’s willing to put up with that shit, but she had such a shitty personality, and was so open with her guilt and shame over being on that date with me, that I didn’t even like her as a person. It felt like I was the distraction, or maybe she even set it up so that she could try to make him jealous.. she did pick the restaurant after all, and it wouldn’t really surprise me if there was a goal behind it.. since the goal was definitely not to be on a date with me.
Oddly enough, not the worst date I’ve ever had. But I came out of it in a pretty shitty spot.. mentally, it hurts to get shut down like that.. almost compared to someone without them ever having to say much. I could see it in her reactions and the way this date just felt.. it felt empty as fuck, like she never had any intention of dating me.. or even being interested, or wanting to get to know me at all. Maybe that’s just what it feels like to have a date want a free meal out of you, because by the end of it, she was still talking to me about this guy, and I had become the third wheel.
This was one of those like, “self-worth checks” too.. one of those where you’re tested to see whether or not you have the ability to walk away from someone that sucks.. or if you’re so desperate for someone’s affection/approval that you’re willing to sit there through something like this, and still want them afterwards.
She brought nothing to the table.
She didn’t pay or split the check for dinner.
She didn’t contribute to the conversation or want to get to know me.
She interrupted our date to spy on her ex.
She was just someone so self-involved and in love with herself that, unless you have a paycheck attached to your name.. she didn’t care. She was looking for a way to fund her life, not looking for someone to love or be loved by. And, look at her behavior during dinner.. she’s already living up to her aspirations and duties of being a trophy wife, the only thing she was lacking was someone to hold her as a “trophy,” and see that she’s deserving of such a thing.
One thing her ex and I did have in common though? Him and I both knew we dodged a bullet, because someone that expects to do nothing, is also someone that’s worth nothing.
There’s some real winners out there in the dating-cesspool.
‘Til next time,
Cowboy